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Anthology

by Braxton Hicks

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Michael Legge
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1.
Time Machine 02:34
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Looking back, I see the pack The ace of spades I missed I chose the three of diamonds The last one on my list Red reflective intuition Looking backwards, looking mean Understanding why I fell I want a time machine Time machine Time machine Mean machine Lean machine Time machine Time machine Step on board my time machine The stakes are laid, an easy life Forward thinking takes no time Crystal ball, my time machine Show me where I’ve been I hate the twentieth century Let’s go past twenty-two Our children have outgrown us And I’m as dead as you Time machine Time machine Mean machine Lean machine Time machine Time machine Step on board my time machine
2.
Train Talk 04:27
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I sometimes wonder if you could see me as I see myself My experience of my life leaves me on the shelf I don’t know what the time is (what’s the time?) I don’t know where the sign is (where’s the sign?) Suddenly I’m back in limbo dancing out of time If you could take me by the hand Stop drawing circles in the sand If you could only show me They won’t let me in You wear chains but you’re not blinded. Go back into line I hope you lose your ball and chain. I hope you lose your mind I'll know on Monday morning, to call me up on Sunday Tuesday I will take the ferry. Typically laidback If you could take me by the hand Stop drawing circles in the sand If you could only show me They won’t let me in Where is Jerry? Have you seen him? Right outside the ground You forgot to charge your glasses. Magic roundabout It's on the way to Hampstead. I wonder if you'll find it Used to work in bingo halls. We used to work so hard If you could take me by the hand Stop drawing circles in the sand If you could only show me They won’t let me in
3.
Runaway 04:06
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Runaway Twelve months we've lived together Twelve months too long We thought it'd last forever We were both wrong When we first decided there was no one else who matters We made our bed of roses Now it's all in tatters It's gonna take one of us to runaway-ay-ay-ay You know it ain't worked out from the first day-ay-ay Why did you fold my jeans and put them in a suitcase? You know I'm not the one moving out today-ay-ay We used to be together at the weekend We used to meet some other Of our old friends Now you can't stand me I hate the sight of your face We had a good time before we We had our own place It's gonna take one of us to runaway-ay-ay-ay You know it ain't worked out from the first day-ay-ay Why did you fold my jeans and put them in a suitcase? You know I'm not the one moving out today-ay-ay I've always paid the rent Paid the TV licence I've always cut the grass Round the garden's my fence You know we're the only ones we've been deceiving I know it's not all your fault But I'm not leaving It's gonna take one of us to runaway-ay-ay-ay You know it ain't worked out from the first day-ay-ay Why did you fold my jeans and put them in a suitcase? You know I'm not the one moving out today-ay-ay
4.
I Spy 02:49
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Wasting time Wasting years No more crying No more tears Moving on Flowing like a river Running short now the end is near I spy Sitting on the beach I lie I pick another word I sigh Growing tired of this game I die Or at least I get old Wasted bodies Wasted minds Too much talking No more time Moving on Flowing like a river I know now my life is mine I spy Sitting on the beach I lie I pick another word I sigh Growing tired of this game I die Or at least I get old Wasting me Wasting you No hanging around Too much to do Moving on Flowing like a river I got it clear now it's up to you I spy Sitting on the beach I lie I pick another word I sigh Growing tired of this game I die Or at least I get old Wasting time Wasting life Realisation cuts like a knife Moving on Flowing like a river Time moves on and no one's safe I spy Sitting on the beach I lie I pick another word I sigh Growing tired of this game I die Or at least I get old
5.
Favourite Son 04:32
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He was the apple of your eye Everybody knew You raised him up to be a man Just to be like you You tried to teach him right from wrong He made you proud to be a man He was your favourite son Son and heir to you He was your favourite son Proud to be with you And now you sit in judgement And the sentence has been passed While you compromise your principles Hypocrisy won't last And the skeletons of conscience Are all knocking at your door All relections of your life you've seen before Do you think you're the perfect one? Well take a good look Don't be the first to cast the stone It might cut your hand Your blueprint screwed up on the floor But it's your life that's screwed up more He was your favourite son Son and heir to you He was your favourite son Proud to be with you And now you sit in judgement And the sentence has been passed While you compromise your principles Hypocrisy won't last And the skeletons of conscience Are all knocking at your door All relections of your life you've seen before He doesn't need you any more And now you're on your own Your twisted morals have no hold Twisted like your mind So take that blindfold from your face Open up your eyes and see the truth He was your favourite son Son and heir to you He was your favourite son Proud to be with you And now you sit in judgement And the sentence has been passed While you compromise your principles Hypocrisy won't last And the skeletons of conscience Are all knocking at your door All relections of your life you've seen before
6.
We All Worry About This 03:21
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We all worry about this Even this worries about this I guess it's the problem Brittle punk pop We all worry about this Over the top of the mountain Down the other side Wasted in the fountain On New Year's Day we died We all worry about this Even this worries about this The Beatles 'Revolver' A slogan well placed We all worry about this Over the top of the mountain Down the other side Wasted in the fountain On New Year's Day we died We all worry about this Even this worries about this Shoot Aphrodite Presley on crack We all worry about this Over the top of the mountain Down the other side Wasted in the fountain On New Year's Day we died We all worry about this
7.
Hopenopenup (truncated) 04:01
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Why do you stand in the corner? You're facing the corner of the room Why don't you stand in the middle? Why don't you gaze up to the moon? Why do you hide yourself from all that's going on? When will you realise that nothing's gonna change without you? So just what are you scared of? Don't you think it's time to take a stand? Are you scared of them laughing? You hold all the aces in your hand Why do you always think that life has been unkind? Why don't you turn the corner, see what you can find? I know there's others just like you If we all stand together, wait and see, there's lots that we can do If there's something on your mind Why don't you try to talk things out? You'll find plenty who'll listen You'll find there's plenty more who'll shout But in the end you'll find there's nothing left to fear And then you'll realise that you have got the key to change things Look out on the horizon Can't you see the new sunrise? There's a ship in the distance And there's a shadow of surprise Yes you will find that you can change things if you try You'll find there's more to life, much more before you die I know there's others just like you If we all stand together, wait and see, there's lots that we can do When you look down the hallway You see a face behind the door But you can't make out a person You find your feet stuck to the floor If you can find the strength to open up the door When will you realise the sun is shining, shining on you? If you walk in the garden You'll find the grass is pale and green Take a look at the flowers There's just so many never seen The air is fresher than you ever thought before Breathe in the air, breathe out, and then breathe in some more I know there's others just like you If we all stand together, wait and see, there's lots that we can do See the stars in the heavens A myriad of silvery-blue We could travel for light-years Blah blah blah blah nothing for you We'll take a shooting star and fly to Zeldon 1 And when we get there we can live among the stars together -song cuts-
8.
Can You See It? 04:32
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World of a thousand voices Faces of a thousand men Trying to be heard above the noise Never knowing where or when The china mind of indecision The Fahrenheit of hate and fear ...Above the bell Knowing that your time is near Can you see it? I can't see the promised land Can you see it? I can't see the chosen people Can you see it? I can't see the day for night Can you see it? I can't see the chosen people The power of the thunder Fear of other men When will people realise that this could be the end The hand of the politician Stirring up the bowl of war Never standing on the frontline Doing deals behind the door Stories of sleaze and scandal Fingers in the apple pie It doesn't matter if we find out ...we're gonna die Can you see it? I can't see the promised land Can you see it? I can't see the chosen people Can you see it? I can't see the day for night Can you see it? I can't see the chosen people The power of the thunder Fear of other men When will people realise this could be the end Do they think that we can't see it? Do they think that we are blind Put them up against a wall Never cruel to be kind It's time they started talking to us It's time to listen to what's said Power is a lethal weapon … Can you see it? I can't see the promised land Can you see it? I can't see the chosen people Can you see it? I can't see the day for night Can you see it? I can't see the chosen people The power of the thunder Fear of other men When will people realise this could be the end
9.
(All I Really Want To Say Is) I Love You 05:19
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A crane stands high A tree stands tall A minicab office with a sign on the wall It says 0181 and the rest Call us up cos we're the best A boy and a girlgoing on a date Hand in hand past industrial estates A caravan has lost her car And a drunk thrown out of the bar All I really want to say is I love you All I really want to say is I love you All I really want to say is I love you All I really want to say is I love you A bridge too far A bridge too tall Where the suicidal man will fall We come to a stop for five minutes or more Maybe less, maybe only four Graffitied bricks, don't know what they say They'll be gone by the middle of May I've run out of cigarettes And I'm allergic to all your pets All I really want to say is I love you All I really want to say is I love you All I really want to say is I love you All I really want to say is I love you We pass more pubs And more hotels And the noise of screaming church bells I wanna cab, but forgotten the number I relax, cool as a cucumber Nearly there at my destination Two minutes to Richmond station It's so hard to think of rhymes So I can finish this song in time All I really want to say is I love you All I really want to say is I love you All I really want to say is I love you All I really want to say is I love you excerpts from “Lord Of The Flies”
10.
Sitting Pretty 06:00
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You know I don't like you I know you hate me Why give me attention When I'm in misery? I'm gonna be OK I'm gonna be fine So don't try to kid me You're no friend of mine You ask me if I feel OK, you bastard You don't mean anything you say, you bastard Keep your ostentatious pity Look at me I'm sitting pretty I don't believe a thing you say, you bastard So why do you come round And lend support to me? I don't understand it You hate no one more than me I think you feel guilty For what I don't know You don't wanna upset me You're lower than low You ask me if I feel OK, you bastard You don't mean anything you say, you bastard Keep your ostentatious pity Look at me I'm sitting pretty I don't believe a thing you say, you bastard I remember a car crash I can't feel my legs They told me my spine broke Just under my neck Were you the driver? I don't remember a thing You don't talk about it Or give away anything You ask me if I feel OK, you bastard You don't mean anything you say, you bastard Keep your ostentatious pity Look at me I'm sitting pretty I don't believe a thing you say, you bastard I think you should leave now And never come back – you bastard I remember the impact I remember the crack – you bastard I know it was your fault And I don't know why – you bastard You wanna forgive me I'd rather die You ask me if I feel OK, you bastard You don't mean anything you say, you bastard Keep your ostentatious pity Look at me I'm sitting pretty I don't believe a thing you say, you bastard
11.
Going Down 02:50
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Across light-years of space we're calling Searching for life like our own Looking for a world to live in We can call our home What's that bluey-green one there? If it was up to me I'd choose it Not for their oxygen or water But for their noisy music I'm going down... The blue must be the ocean And the white must be the clouds And that must be America Where they like their music loud And look at those tall mountains Reaching for the sun Listen to the radio Braxton Hicks are number one! I'm going down... I'm going down to the planet Down to the town Down to the clubs where the love flows round Down from my rocket And down to the sound Into my module and down to the ground This is it I've landed And the world is all my own I wanna tell my mother But I can't find a working phone Someone asked me where I came from So I said, “The furthest star” He said, “How do you like to save the world?” And he brought me a new guitar! I'm going down... Now I've got my own band, “The Gruntled Troutless Boys” We can't play our instruments We just make a lot of noise We gigged supporting Braxton Hicks For a year it was quite fun But I really don't belong here I'm going back to Zeldon 1 I'm going back... Take me back... They won't have me back... I'm going down to the planet Down to the town Down to the clubs where the love flows round Down from my rocket And down to the sound Into my module and down to the ground
12.
Had A Ball 03:13
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Well I woke up this morning, thought that I'd stopped breathing Well my head was sore and I felt my chest a-heavin' We partied all night and I don't think stopped moving blah blah blah I didn't stop groovin' You know I don't remember much at all I think I must have had a ball last night Well it's 11 o'clock and it's time I hit the shower I can feel the sweat, I can smell the flower power Cold water down my back, I think I've got some feeling Then I lie on the floor and I watch the spinning ceiling You know I don't remember much at all I think I must have had a ball last night Well I remember a face, was it real or did I dream it? Feels so real, but now it doesn't seem it I got a piece of paper, I got a telephone number Racking my brain, but all I hear is thunder You know I don't remember much at all I think I must have had a ball last night
13.
My Diseased Little Mind 02:57
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You ask me what I do in my spare time I told you you were just wasting your time And as the lights go out There's no point in laughing and no need to shout I'm gonna feed you my diseased little mind I told you you were wonderful tonight I could have lied and said it was alright And as my time is near There's no point pretending I have no fear You gotta take care of my diseased little mind
14.
Don't Bring Geoffrey 02:32
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Living in the jungle With Zippy, George and Bungle Would be a dream come true I'm even ready For Rod, Jane and Freddy So why don't you come too? Don't bring Geoffrey Zippy is the best George can be a pest And Bungle's absolutely crackers I'd go out steady With big Rod and Freddy And I'd shake Jane's maracas Don't bring Geoffrey
15.
Lifeline 04:48
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You could be anything you ever wished to be You could do anything, do anything for me You chose to do the wrong thing You chose to do the wandering That's just the way it seemed to me This is your life time This is the one time I've got the lifeline I know you're only 16, just straight out of school I know you had some trouble, made you feel the fool You chose to go your own way You chose to have your own say You turned around and closed the door This is your life time This is the one time I've got the lifeline Yes I suppose I had it easier than you When I was your age I could feel those feelings too I guess you must be stronger Couldn't take it any longer Perhaps you had no choice at all This is your life time This is the one time I've got the lifeline Perhaps you made the right decision, time will tell Was it the only way you could escape from hell? I know I'll wonder with you I wasn't there to talk to I disappeared five years before This is your life time This is the one time I've got the lifeline
16.
Images 05:16
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I don't know if you can hear the voices in my head Sometimes I don't understand the living from the dead The colours of the rainbow are the colours of my dreams Colours I see on your mind are colours I've not seen But I know I'll be with you when the sun comes shining through I know I'll sleep with you tonight Colours of the rainbow Have never been so clear I'm so glad you're here with me tonight Desert sands are shifting on their own beneath my feet We walked for miles but I can't see my footprints, only heat Searching for the one oasis, no more miles around I can't hear the water. I can't hear a single sound But I know I'll be with you when the sun comes shining through I know I'll sleep with you tonight Colours of the rainbow Have never been so clear I'm so glad you're here with me tonight The images of silence as a leaf falls to the ground The only images I see are images of sound Turning cartwheels in my mind, trying to break free Climbing, flying higher, is the way for you and me But I know I'll be with you when the sun comes shining through I know I'll sleep with you tonight Colours of the rainbow Have never been so clear I'm so glad you're here with me tonight
17.
Childhood Trauma 03:39
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It was cold, it was winter It was 1968 Len Cox, football Fullarton Estate Big toe blooter On to the ice You dared me once and you hit me twice Don't make me go Don't make me go Don't make me go I just want to play in the snow I was all wrapped up I was wearing my scarf We played for 10 minutes It was still the first half You kicked the ball Way out of sight And you made me go cos you said I was light Don't make me go I just want to play in the snow Oh big brother why did you make me do it? I took a few steps and I fell right through it I trusted you I should have known better Fell through the ice I got colder and wetter Oh big brother you didn't pull me out I heard the ice creak I was so near Couldn't let you down I was shaking with fear As the ice grew thinner Under my knees The last thing you heard was me begging you please Don't make me go I just want to play in the snow Oh big brother why did you make me do it? I took a few steps and I fell right through it I trusted you I should have known better Fell through the ice I got colder and wetter Oh big brother you didn't pull me out
18.
Welcome To The Family 07:08
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I find it strange I just can't see Why no one wants to stay with me We're just a normal family I only wish they'd talk to me I can't understand what I'm doing wrong Will someone tell me why they never stay long I need someone with loyalty I need somebody who will stay close to me Just sign the dotted line and name me your fee Perhaps it's time to get tough Perhaps I'll get rough I could give you pain So welcome to your ball and chain Don't misunderstand anything I say to you I just lost my head I didn't mean to frighten you But these long hours alone They screw me around Sometimes I blow a fuse Sometimes it makes me scream and shout Welcome to the family There's lots of fun for you and me But just don't let me down Or I'll make sure you never leave You know there's nothing sinister here Scratch my back and I'll buy you a beer Come and join us you'll enjoy it for sure Scratch my back or I'll rip out yours Perhaps it's time to get tough Perhaps I'll get rough I could give you pain So welcome to your ball and chain Don't misunderstand anything I say to you I just lost my head I didn't mean to frighten you But these long hours alone They screw me around Sometimes I blow a fuse Sometimes it makes me scream and shout Welcome to the family There's lots of fun for you and me But just don't let me down Or I'll make sure you never leave I could give you a room with a view You must believe me, I will look after you I need someone with loyalty I need somebody who will stay close to me You can confuse me I think you'll agree Perhaps it's time to get tough Perhaps I'll get rough I could give you pain So welcome to your ball and chain
19.
We're Braxton Hicks 04:00
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Here we come We'll have so much fun Here we come We'll turn black clouds into sun Cos we're your friends and we love you You're our friends and we care We'll sing to you and we love you We'll sing to you and we care We'll sing six songs We'll sing songs six Then you'll know we're Braxton Hicks We'll sign our names and give you pics Then you'll know we're Braxton Hicks Yeah! There we go We love you so There we go We'll watch you grow Cos we're your friends and we love you You're our friends and we care We'll sing to you and we love you We'll sing to you and we care We'll sing six songs We'll sing songs six Then you'll know we're Braxton Hicks We'll sign our names and give you pics Then you'll know we're Braxton Hicks Yeah! We'll be back White or black We'll be back Don't look back Cos we're your friends and we love you You're our friends and we care We'll sing to you and we love you We'll sing to you and we care We'll sing six songs We'll sing songs six Then you'll know we're Braxton Hicks We'll sign our names and give you pics Then you'll know we're Braxton Hicks Yeah!
20.
Supertramp 03:55
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Skinny-dipping heroes drink port and blow balloons Huddled round the camp fire, bottle tops in sand Knives in concentration, carving lumps of wood They turn to one another biting fingers from their hands Telling one another lies Each one has a story, sounds better every time Living out a nightmare of laughter of a gull The fire sending sparks through the vase of mulled wine The memories now are fading, his eyes grow dim and dull Only embers now remain Drug addicted, alcoholic, tramp of a man He never seemed to quite fit in with any other plan Just walks around in circles, no oil in the lamp Super boy Super man Super junkie Super tramp He lies down to sleep in his super caravan Gotta be upmarket, no Asda cardboard box He's just weather-beaten, it's not a super tan Not to be mistaken, he's got the chicken pox Oh Lord Jesus not again Drug addicted, alcoholic, tramp of a man He never seemed to quite fit in with any other plan Just walks around in circles, no oil in the lamp Super boy Super man Super junkie Super tramp
21.
Screwdriver 01:21
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Place me up against the wall (I'm a screwdriver) Turn me around (I'm a screwdriver) Clockwise going in (I'm a screwdriver) Anti coming out (I'm a screwdriver) Screw me in the hole (I'm a screwdriver) Till I fit tightly (I'm a screwdriver) Tell me you want it (I'm a screwdriver) Three times nightly (I'm a screwdriver) You're a screwdriver
22.
Pissed Off With You 03:07
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When you wake me up I don't wanna get up When you make me tea I'm not hungry When you laugh at me it's not funny When you buy me coke I get pissed I'm pissed off with you And the things you do I'm pissed off with you I'm pissed off with you When you wash my clothes they're not dirty When you iron my shirt it ain't creased When you comb my hair it's not a mess When you run me a bath I'm not dirty I'm pissed off with you And the things you do I'm pissed off with you I'm pissed off with you When you come upstairs I ain't sexy When you give me pills I'm not ill When you cheer me up I'm not down When you do your best it ain't good enough I'm pissed off with you And the things you do I'm pissed off with you I'm pissed off with you When you stay in bed I wanna get up When you watch BBC I want Channel 4 When you tell the truth I don't believe you When you're feeling sad I feel great! I'm pissed off with you And the things you do I'm pissed off with you I'm pissed off with you
23.
I Wanna Be A Rock Star 04:18
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I wanna be a rock star I wanna have long hair I wanna be on telly I wanna shout and swear I wanna cut a record I wanna have a hit I wanna have that front page I wanna cough and spit But most of all I wanna be a rock star I wanna rock 'n' roll I wanna be a rock star I wanna touch your soul I wanna make you jealous I want big fast cars I wanna kick photographers I wanna play on Mars I wanna suit like Bowie's I wanna Dylan brain I wanna Guns 'n' Roses voice I want some Purple Rain But most of all I wanna be a rock star I wanna rock 'n' roll I wanna be a rock star I wanna touch your soul I wanna cause a scandal I wanna be in Viz I wanna do the chat shows I want the whole showbiz I want tight leather trousers I wanna go quite far I wanna sleep with Kylie I wanna synth-guitar But most of all I wanna be a rock star I wanna rock 'n' roll I wanna be a rock star I wanna touch your soul I wanna play at Wembley I wanna play the ramp I wanna hear them cheering I wanna hear them stamp I wanna be a rock star I wanna flying V I wanna be a rock star That's what I wanna be But most of all I wanna be a rock star I wanna rock 'n' roll I wanna be a rock star I wanna touch your soul
24.
Don't Count Sheep 02:39
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On a sticky summer's night, you start to sweat Humidity is high, the sheets are wet You're breathing hard and you're wide awake You wanna fall sleep, but for heaven's sake Don't count sheep Close your eyes Go to sleep Tranquilise On a freezing winter's night, you start to shiver You curl into a ball and it seems like forever You're breathing hard and you're wide awake You wanna fall sleep, but for heaven's sake Don't count sheep Close your eyes Go to sleep Tranquilise On an ordinary night, you start to think About the evening gone and what you've had to drink Your head is spinning and you're wide awake You wanna fall sleep, but for heaven's sake Don't count sheep Close your eyes Go to sleep Tranquilise
25.
Back On Your Front 03:25
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World class opposition leads to dyeing your hair A compromised position lays all your secrets bare God bless navigation, you can't find your head Sexual frustration, you can't crack your egg In the back on your front It's difficult to drive your car In the front on your back You never know where you are Get back on your front Can't get the lid off this jar Front on your back Get round in ten under par The woman is a Hebrew. It's always a bad, bad rhyme In forty years the tree grew. It comes at a sad, sad time Barbed wire indignation. Time to catch the train Lying in formation, go against the grain In the back on your front It's difficult to drive your car In the front on your back You never know where you are Get back on your front Can't get the lid off this jar Front on your back Get round in ten under par Three word line I mean to say The end of time Fly, fly away What do you when you're dead? Practise voodoo That's what I read In the back on your front It's difficult to drive your car In the front on your back You never know where you are Get back on your front Can't get the lid off this jar Front on your back Get round in ten under par
26.
Puncture 02:02
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Get out of my bed It's seven o'clock I gotta sore head I can't find my socks Can't find my hairbrush I'm late for my train I'm feeling all flushed Check my tyre and my chain Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! I gotta puncture It's not what I need at this juncture Well I'm leaving To meet my affair My heart's heaving My head's in the air I just can't wait To be together tonightI mustn't be late I'll just check my bike Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! I gotta puncture It's not what I need at this juncture Well now it's night time It's time to go back We drank some white wine And spent some time in the sack Now I'm thinking I've run over a cat Is it the drinking? Or is my tire flat? Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! I gotta puncture It's not what I need at this juncture
27.
I Sometimes Wonder 03:35
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I sometimes wonder who I am But I don't know I don't even know my name No reflection No recollection of it Every time I look it's just the same But there's one thing that I know But there's nothing I can do You know I've got to stick around Because darling, I love you I sometimes wonder where I've been But I don't know My footprints covered in the sand No memories now No photographs to jog my mind And no more friends to call my own But there's one thing that I know But there's nothing I can do You know I've got to stick around Because darling, I love you I sometimes wonder where you go But I don't know Not sure of what the future holds The sky above me No guarantee of no clouds This time darling, I need your hand to hold But there's one thing that I know But there's nothing I can do You know I've got to stick around Because darling, I love you
28.
There Goes An Ostrich 02:35
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Step into my car I'll take you home We had a great time at The Hippodrome Three o'clock and I wanna go to sleep Close my eyes and I nearly hit a sheep There goes a squirrel There goes a dog I've been sleeping like a log Behind the wheel I'm dropping off You say you've had enough Wake me up and I hear you scream You've disturbed me from a lovely dream I'll get you home in a minute don't worry There's no need for us to hurry There goes a rabbit There goes a hare What the fuck were they doing there? Behind the wheel I'm dropping off You say you've had enough Hitting 90 down a country lane My eyes are closed and it's started to rain We'll have to do this again tomorrow night I'm sorry if I gave you a fright There goes a penguin There goes a cow This really shouldn't be allowed Behind the wheel I'm dropping off You say you've had enough There goes an ostrich There goes a horse You say you want a divorce Behind the wheel I'm dropping off You say you've had enough There goes a squirrel There goes a dog I've been sleeping like a log Behind the wheel I'm dropping off You say you've had enough There goes a rabbit There goes a hare What the fuck were they doing there? Behind the wheel I'm dropping off You say you've had enough There goes a penguin There goes a cow This really shouldn't be allowed Behind the wheel I'm dropping off You say you've had enough There goes an ostrich There goes a horse You say you want a divorce Behind the wheel I'm dropping off You say you've had enough
29.
Someone Like Me (Who Cares?) 03:30
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Someone like me who loves you Someone like me who cares Someone like me above you Someone like me who cares. Not you Who cares? Not you
30.
Home Is Where The Heart Is 02:44
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What’s going on? My wig has been flipped For twenty quid I’ve been taking a trip My chips are down, but I’ve been around What’s happening now? I’m going home Home is where the heart is I’ve been to far too many parties Hallucinations, LSD All my ghosts are bothering me I think it’s time to move along Sat at the controls of a 747 If I get any higher I’ll fly to heaven The harps are so loud A hell of a crowd What’s happening now? I’m going home Home is where the heart is I’ve been to far too many parties Hallucinations, LSD All my ghosts are bothering me I think it’s time to move along Walking in the valley of the shadow of death I meet the devil and he’s got bad breath Breath of a sow Size of a cow What’s happening now? I’m going home Home is where the heart is I’ve been to far too many parties Hallucinations, LSD All my ghosts are bothering me I think it’s time to move along Falling down through an endless black hole No light escapes, it’s as black as coal Don’t know how I’m gonna get out What’s happening now? I’m going home Home is where the heart is I’ve been to far too many parties Hallucinations, LSD All my ghosts are bothering me I think it’s time to move along
31.
Gruntled And Troutless 04:54
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I used to worry about everything Now I care about nothing Have my shoes been polished? Do I drink too much? What do they think of what I eat for lunch? Now I’m gruntled Gruntled and troutless There’s no doubt about this I can’t do without this Gruntled and troutless I used to panic over little things Now I panic over nothing Did I miss the telly? Am I getting fat? Has my shirt been ironed? Do they like my hat? Now I’m gruntled Gruntled and troutless There’s no doubt about this I can’t do without this Gruntled and troutless I used to worry about everything Now I care about nothing Do I have enough money? Did I get enough drink? Not any longer I don’t care what they think Now I’m gruntled Gruntled and troutless There’s no doubt about this I can’t do without this Gruntled and troutless Now I’m gruntled Now I’m troutless
32.
Blow 03:48
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Blow Blow me away with your reasons Blow me away with the seasons Blow me out There’s no more doubt Blow me down Turn around Blow Blow me a kiss I can’t resist Blow me a kiss I don’t exist Blow me out There’s no more doubt Blow me down Turn around Blow Blow me away with your reasons Blow me away with the seasons Blow me a kiss I can’t resist Blow me a kiss I don’t exist Blow
33.
Screwdriver (early version) 01:26
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Place me up against the wall (I'm a screwdriver) Turn me around (I'm a screwdriver) Clockwise going in (I'm a screwdriver) Anti coming out (I'm a screwdriver) Screw me in the hole (I'm a screwdriver) Till I fit tightly (I'm a screwdriver) Tell me you want it (I'm a screwdriver) Three times nightly (I'm a screwdriver) You're a screwdriver
34.
Don't Count Sheep (acoustic version) 02:52
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On a sticky summer's night, you start to sweat Humidity is high, the sheets are wet You're breathing hard and you're wide awake You wanna fall sleep, but for heaven's sake Don't count sheep Close your eyes Go to sleep Tranquilise On a freezing winter's night, you start to shiver You curl into a ball and it seems like forever You're breathing hard and you're wide awake You wanna fall sleep, but for heaven's sake Don't count sheep Close your eyes Go to sleep Tranquilise On an ordinary night, you start to think About the evening gone and what you've had to drink Your head is spinning and you're wide awake You wanna fall sleep, but for heaven's sake Don't count sheep Close your eyes Go to sleep Tranquilise

about

The first 18 tracks are from the original Braxton Hicks album, and tracks 19-34 were from long lost songs that were recovered after the dusty old cassettes were miraculously found.

All songs recorded on 4 track and mastered on cassette. Recorded in Reading and London in the 1990s. Mainly first takes. VERY DIY and variable sound quality. We had a lot of fun!

This is everything I can find apart from some cover versions.Will be releasing these songs as shorter E.P.s too in case 34 songs is a bit much to handle at once!

credits

released December 12, 2019

Andy McHaffie - Vocals, guitar, occasional keyboards
Ken McHaffie - Vocals, keyboards, occasional guitar

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Braxton Hicks London, UK

Brothers Ken and Andy McHaffie wrote and recorded all these songs. We usually recorded 2 to 3 songs per day over a period of months and years, mainly under the influence of strong cider.

Some are funny, some less so, but we put our all into it.

Very much DIY, all recorded on 4-track, and extremely variable sound quality. ... more

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